The #1 thing divorce judges want people to know.

If you’re thinking about a divorce, then you probably want to know what the judge is going to think. That’s natural, of course. It’s your divorce, and you are focused on your own needs.

But when you go to court, the judge is looking down on you — literally.

Cloaked in an anachronistic robe, and likely sitting behind an equally anachronistic mound of wood known as the “bench,” the judge has the power to determine you future.

As you sit there, you might be wonder how often you will get to see your kids, how much child support you will pay (or receive) and — of course — how much your lawyer will cost.

As a divorce lawyer who handles dozens of cases per year, I’ve noticed that there is one thing that judges really want you to know. And it’s the following:

Judges do not want to decide your case.

In other words, they don’t want you to fight your case in court. They want you to come to an agreement. In fact, I’ve heard various judges flatly tell both spouses, “If I decide your case, both of you will be unhappy.”

But why?

To understand more about this, I’d like to explain a bit about my background, and the major categories of cases I handle.

As an Illinois divorce lawyer, I’ve handle complex cases involving psychiatrists and millions of dollars. I discuss topics for those types of cases at my firm website. . . topics like financial disclosure, cross-examination, and dividing marital assets.

However, early on in my career I realized that vast majority of people could probably benefit from an uncontested divorce. As a divorce lawyer in Illinois, I know that the vast majority of cases are “uncontested;” in other words, those cases are amicable and the parties are in agreement from the beginning.

So as much as I like cross-examining people — and making them sweat on the stand — I knew that I should devote substantial efforts to representing people in uncontested divorces (in Illinois, where I practice). I even published a website focusing on this area, where I offer to represent clients for a flat fee (to make the cost affordable, and predictable).

In an uncontested divorce, the spouses decide the terms of the divorce — not the judge.

Because an uncontested divorce is by agreement, it is the fastest way to get divorced.

And an uncontested divorce is relatively affordable — even using a divorce lawyer — because the scope of the divorce is limited.

Here’s one thing I’ve noticed about people who want to fight in their divorce — they often change their minds once they find out how much it will cost.

So, what do divorce judges want you to know?

You will be better off if you and your spouse agree upon the terms of your divorce — instead of letting the judge decide.

So if you are thinking about starting a divorce in Illinois — or any other state — you might want to give real thought to what I think is the number one thing judge’s want you to know: instead of fighting, you may very well be better of if you can come to an agreement with your spouse.